Michael and I had the great opportunity of organizing and attending the first While We're Waiting Bereaved Parent's Retreat for those grieving in Ohio. We spent the weekend in Charm, Ohio at a beautiful bed and breakfast with other parents who are walking the same journey that we are. It is difficult to explain what it does for your heart to be in the company of those who truly "get it". Being a bereaved parent isn't something you would ever volunteer for or anxiously await. Yet, we know, without a shadow of a doubt, that not an ounce of this pain is wasted in God's economy.
We have been learning how to move forward without ever moving past being Kayli's parents. She was and remains to be our daughter. Her life on Earth was one of our greatest gifts and for a while we live in a place of separation...almost 8 years closer to that day we will see Jesus and her in Heaven. For our family that looks like celebrating milestones and struggling through the rough days with an acute awareness of the empty chair at our table. It looks like days of giving extra grace to one another and listening a little bit harder to the unspoken things. It looks like belly laughs, ugly tears and upside-down days that you can't put your finger on where the sadness poured in from. In all of this, we walk forward without a script, but trusting God in the writing of our remaining story.
Whenever we attend a retreat or seminar, Michael reminds me to focus on one take away from the information and put that thing into practice. This is such wise advice! You can get so much good input and ideas that you feel overwhelmed trying to process it all and fail to do anything that you learned towards lasting change. His insight proved so valuable for me yet again this weekend. One of our leaders reminded us that our child who is in Heaven is living in our future. They know things, have seen things, have learned things that I will not know until I am in heaven with them in the future. In so many ways they have surpassed me. I have spent so much time longing to be reunited with them someday that I never considered the fact that Kayli and Joshua are LIVING in my future! I have always thought in terms of my past...Joshua, Kayli, Caleb and Luke were all there. I often think about my present where Caleb and Luke are now and savor every moment of these days with them. I definitely think about my future and long for the day that I will see Christ and be reunited with Kayli and Joshua. But to think of them already living in my future was so incredibly powerful for me! As a parent, you impart to your children all the knowledge you have gleaned by going before them in life...giving them life lessons that will spare them the heartache of following in some of the potholes that you may have stepped in yourself. We have taught our kids about Jesus and our desperate need for a personal relationship with Him. We wanted to be sure that their greatest success in life was making themselves ready for eternal life; not this earthly one.
It never occurred to me that Kayi and Joshua are not just waiting around in Heaven for me, but they are living in my future. They are experiencing what I will experience. They are learning the lay of the land and eagerly waiting for me to get there to experience it too. They are where I have not been and so I live in the here and now with my feet in both places...my present and my future. This fills me with hope and joy and the reminder of God's sovereignty overall. He is in the details. He Is continuing to grow and mold us for our future. I am so very thankful for the movie of memories that play in my mind. I am trying to stay vigilant in the present and not miss those who are here with me now. But I was reminded to stay laser focused on my future because that is the only place that is truly the place I was created to live. I would love for you to be there too! Kayli had the benefit of knowing that she was dying and filmed this video about two months before God took her home. She was ready and we are so incredibly thankful. If this were you..., would you be ready? Take a listen as Kayli tells you how you can know that you will be there too!
We have been learning how to move forward without ever moving past being Kayli's parents. She was and remains to be our daughter. Her life on Earth was one of our greatest gifts and for a while we live in a place of separation...almost 8 years closer to that day we will see Jesus and her in Heaven. For our family that looks like celebrating milestones and struggling through the rough days with an acute awareness of the empty chair at our table. It looks like days of giving extra grace to one another and listening a little bit harder to the unspoken things. It looks like belly laughs, ugly tears and upside-down days that you can't put your finger on where the sadness poured in from. In all of this, we walk forward without a script, but trusting God in the writing of our remaining story.
Whenever we attend a retreat or seminar, Michael reminds me to focus on one take away from the information and put that thing into practice. This is such wise advice! You can get so much good input and ideas that you feel overwhelmed trying to process it all and fail to do anything that you learned towards lasting change. His insight proved so valuable for me yet again this weekend. One of our leaders reminded us that our child who is in Heaven is living in our future. They know things, have seen things, have learned things that I will not know until I am in heaven with them in the future. In so many ways they have surpassed me. I have spent so much time longing to be reunited with them someday that I never considered the fact that Kayli and Joshua are LIVING in my future! I have always thought in terms of my past...Joshua, Kayli, Caleb and Luke were all there. I often think about my present where Caleb and Luke are now and savor every moment of these days with them. I definitely think about my future and long for the day that I will see Christ and be reunited with Kayli and Joshua. But to think of them already living in my future was so incredibly powerful for me! As a parent, you impart to your children all the knowledge you have gleaned by going before them in life...giving them life lessons that will spare them the heartache of following in some of the potholes that you may have stepped in yourself. We have taught our kids about Jesus and our desperate need for a personal relationship with Him. We wanted to be sure that their greatest success in life was making themselves ready for eternal life; not this earthly one.
It never occurred to me that Kayi and Joshua are not just waiting around in Heaven for me, but they are living in my future. They are experiencing what I will experience. They are learning the lay of the land and eagerly waiting for me to get there to experience it too. They are where I have not been and so I live in the here and now with my feet in both places...my present and my future. This fills me with hope and joy and the reminder of God's sovereignty overall. He is in the details. He Is continuing to grow and mold us for our future. I am so very thankful for the movie of memories that play in my mind. I am trying to stay vigilant in the present and not miss those who are here with me now. But I was reminded to stay laser focused on my future because that is the only place that is truly the place I was created to live. I would love for you to be there too! Kayli had the benefit of knowing that she was dying and filmed this video about two months before God took her home. She was ready and we are so incredibly thankful. If this were you..., would you be ready? Take a listen as Kayli tells you how you can know that you will be there too!