I’ll start out here. I grew up in a Christian home, in a wonderful church where I heard the truth excellently taught my entire life. I AM BLESSED. I have never in my life doubted the existence of GOD or that Jesus is his son, but I have doubted my salvation. He died for ME and for YOU because he loves with an undying, eternal love. Romans 5:8 says “and while we were YET sinners, Christ died for US.” Even in the dark, black, pit of my sin Jesus died for me, he knew everything I would ever do WRONG and yet he STILL died for me, and Jesus did the same for you. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
I was the youngest of three children for eight years until my little ginger brother popped out of the womb. I was very obedient as a young child, but always afraid to get in trouble, so I was also a deceiver. I wanted to be loved and I loved to please; it is the way God has created me. In my adult life, I still struggle with those struggles. I love to be loved. I am a people pleaser. As I grew, I struggled. In my early teen years I became defiant. I did not know who I was or what I was supposed to do with myself. I knew Jesus was the answer, but I resisted because I wanted to do, what I wanted to do. I followed crowds. I am not a born leader, I’m a born follower and that’s ok as long as you have the wisdom to follow a wise leader. I remember my heart being deeply convicted and I would cry out to God in my despair and recite the sinner’s prayer for fear I was not saved. I finally turned to God in high school and things were better, but I still did what I wanted to do and I eventually was pregnant out of wed lock at 21. I grew closer to my family and to God in that time. However, it was not until my first year of marriage at 21 years old that I really understood believing in God is not just a sinner’s prayer. It is a daily choice to follow Jesus and obey him to the absolute best of my ability.
This brings me back to me. I am still that people pleaser, loving to be loved. It makes it hard as a Christian to share the gospel unashamedly. I think that is why God allowed the message about open hearts, open mouths, and opportunities to stick with me. I often think of the verse in Matthew 10:33 “But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven.” Woah! That’s a big one. The message was about praying for open hearts of those you will have an opportunity to share the gospel with. I began praying that I would have an open mouth when that opportunity comes, and finally praying for that opportunity to come. We are commanded in Matthew 28:19 to “go and make disciples of every nation…” I am sometimes scared to pray those prayers because I am afraid to be rejected by those that I love and even those I don’t know personally. JESUS HAS TO BE SHARED WITH THE WORLD!
I write these things because I know my struggle is a common struggle among men. I know I am not the only one. This brings me full circle to my friend Kayli, who started this blog, and who convicted my heart on a level I don’t think anyone else could have. Our sweet Kayli was so unashamed of our Jesus. Every time, I think of that cheerios message it does not come to my mind without Kayli being there too. When I am afraid of sharing the gospel I think of her. If she can share in tremendous pain, with people, especially medical professionals, many of whom I know to be hard against the gospel of Jesus, who am I to hinder the gospel from reaching anyone? Kayli loved you and wanted you to know that Jesus is waiting for you to know him on a personal level, and I do too.
Love,
Liz
Romans 10:9 “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”